So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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