i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I will be naked everywhere
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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