I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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