So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
