Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he puts the penis in happiness.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
