Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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