Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
