good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
