Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just had sex on a roof
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
