whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
