I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
