You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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