Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
