How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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