I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize