"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
