My entire life is one complicated drinking game
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
