Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
