True but thats because hes a fetus.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Text me some of your sweat
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