If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
