Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
