Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
