i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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