chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dicks are not precious.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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