we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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