i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
