Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
