You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
