Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
