Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
