I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
