im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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