with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
