Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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