I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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