I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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