Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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