Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
