he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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