i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she told me i tasted like america
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
