Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
did i just pee glitter
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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