I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
