hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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