My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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