dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
