Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
