if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
