dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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