You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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