I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
