I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my shit smells like andre
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
