I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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