Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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