Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize