i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
