What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
