3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
