the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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