Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is it penis luge time yet?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
