Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
